Ugh

Although I want to see Kelli I can't encourage her to fight the flow. She needs to be relaxed. I wish it was easy but it's not. We are not sure what causes her to be exhausted and we can't rule out that its me. Life is tough and you must make hard decisions. As Kelli and I discussed this morning there is great pressure to do things you are uncomfortable with because they seem easy. The truth is the good choices are not so easy. Only once you have kept that commitment to yourself can you fully appreciate the consequences. Life is super confusing right now. I hope that more peace is found in the coming weeks. I want to go do so much but I feel so incomplete doing it alone. It is a struggle. I go for a motorcycle ride alone and I can't stop missing my back seat passenger. I go for a walk or run and think how great it would be to have company. I cook dinner and I miss cooking dinner for that person and seeing them smile. I imagine going on adventures all over and feel sad. The thought of going alone makes it feel like a waste.