Sunday, November 4, 2012


I am still worried even though Kelli and I came to a compromise I was happy with. I guess it's still just unclear if it will work. In want her to be happy! I want to be happy! It's hard to be happy when I know she is conflicted and not satisfied with her life right now. I know I can't fix it I just don't want to make it more complicated for her. Space William give her space that is the best support for her. She needs support in the form of space and cooperation! I am trying and I know quizzing her doesn't help I know this but it's hard not too. I must not! I need her to be happy with the direction she is taking so I must not impose. I will not impose! Don't let me impose. If you need to change your mind to feel the go with the flow! That's how it needs to be. Go with the flow. That's how I need to get myself through this. All so complicated but It will be worth it if we can do it. If we can both be happy even if not with each other it's gotta happen. I feel like I need to write that a thousand times. I just want stability no matter the form. She needs to feel stable for me to feel stable. We need each other to feel stable. I must be stable to help her worry about one less thing. I told her I would talk to Ashlyn..... Well tried that and it's not gonna work haha oh well I guess I am still hunting for a date. She is too though. We both need to be explorative. It's hard but I got to do it. I will do it. If ever I needed to be strong and confident it is now! I must find my strength and push forward. I will find my strength. I will push forward. I will motivate myself. I will be awesome haha. I hate pep talking myself but go William. I feel like the compromise can work but I need to be strong! I can't worry. I must go with the flow. Over thinking has been a problem so far I need to stop it on my end. I need to be solid. Pep talk William haha. Let's go William! Break! End the cycle haha. Just be William so Kelli can find Kelli!

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