Supporting yourself

Supporting yourself is a monumental task. When you don't have the people you can count on at your beck and call you are on your own. It is mostly illusion I feel like because I am not alone and Kelli is still there. I just know that I can use her like that. If anything bad was happening to me I have no doubt she would help but my  daily struggles are not mine to leave at the door and enter my life away from me. I have no escape from me. I have no entertainment of planning things to do with her or even the slightest idea when I will see her next. It is out of my hands. the only thing in my hands is my craziness. I am tired of trying to feel fulfilled living in William world. There are independent in a relationship people and there are independent people that like to live in there own world. I like to be independent in my shared world haha. My own world is missing something. I don't know where to go with this thought anymore so I will leave it there haha.